i find myself these last few weeks being pulled in directions that i dont want to go.
i am working my tail off to prove to "someone" that i can do my job well
but it's never good enough. never.
i just did a 58 page report and was so proud only
to get the call that says "hey, you forgot to fill in this ciricle at the bottom
of page 7. i gotta go im on a conference call.

i honestly dont know why i care what "someone" thinks of my work.
maybe because sometimes, "hey you have been working hard and your work shows it
would be nice to hear."

what i want is to be off at 4pm and go for a bike ride or a long walk
or get out some beads and create, write more in my journal... idk, something that makes
me feel good and not so owned.

i know that its more than the work, its life and sometimes i just need to
move in a different direction so i change the flow....