changes

as autumn
takes the back seat
to the approaching
winter
and we
are coming into
that dormant state
in our lives
its important
to clear away the
old
dead 
debris
that harvest
has left behind.

how i see this is 
clearing away the culls
(distractions & dream stealers)
the deadwood 
(energy vampires)
grain straw 
(clutter..people and things)

what is no longer needed
making room for a new crop
of
dreams
goals
desires
wishes 
adventure
and
magic 


my wish for you is 
that you
see your vision 
that your heart is longing for
and
on purpose make  the time
to nurture
your soul
your dreams
your desires 
so that when spring comes
 your dreams will blossom
and 
take you further than you imagined


 

surrendering

the past few weeks
i have been more weak
than i would like to admit

ive not embraced my power to over come
and not held fast to my dreams

instead i have allowed
little
unimportant
petty
things
to creep in
and
try
to take away
from the beauty
of
my life
my dreams
my being

today i am

releasing the shame
embracing my power

eliminating the things
that are distracting me
from who i am
and
who i resolve to be


i have been ugly, prideful,messy
and pushed you away
i didnt want you
to see my weakness

not knowing that
though i was learning a lesson
in my pain

i was hurting you
~
knowing that breaks my heart

you are my rock
you show me
that i am valued
the purpose for the lesson
is to grow
and
that the hard stuff
is short lived

you stand by me
love me through my messiness
remind me that you aren't leaving
and
where you are going
you are taking me with you

♥
thank you
for you
♥


for your
unshakable
love
strenghth
and passion
to move forward with our dreams
and living the life you/i/we imagine

loving you
♥tj

now

as of late my mind
my thoughts
and my soul's desires are conspiring and conversing
about what life means
what the future looks like
and what its like fully living in the present moment

for me, being in the present moment takes practice
its definitely a challenge
my thoughts are flux
thoughtful of the past
experiencing the now
planning the future
dreaming of life overflowing with love and bliss!
knowing that there is so much more...
more to taste
more to smell
more to see
more love
more to experience
more to write

right smack dab

yesterday i woke up to the storm clouds
promising me lovely reflections of
sparkly clean clarity from the washing away
of all the sweat and dust of the last week
just to have my ass kicked by a dust bunny!

i thought i had made peace with what my heart felt
and resolved that it is what it is and what it is
is absolutely beautiful!

but wow...
now i am taken back..
the rain just washed away the veil
of the truth in my heart.
so i ask myself

self, does this serve you to think such things
or feel this way?

self to ego says

i believe so...
i believe that its okay to have this be perfect in
all its unorthodox sanctity
its beautiful no matter what
and to be happy with being
right here
right now
doing this
until
if there is a time
that things could be different

I wish I could show you when you are lonely or in darkness,
the astonishing light of your own being.
~Hafiz of Persia


spent
empty
fearful
unsure why..
you dont care about the "why"
you never have

you dont take pity on me
you say what needs to be said
what i need to hear
grab my hand
lift my heart
gently cradle it
and
remind me of the truth
and even when
the lessons
are tough
life is so beautiful

you love with out resistance
and care unyielding
regardless of how messy
my head and heart get

because of you
my tank is filling
i am emerging
and doing my best not
be hospitable to fear
to let go of the
perfectly hypothetical
what if's

i am reminded that
i am
the illustrator
and
author
of my story


thank you
for taking the time
investing the energy
for knowing me
knowing my heart
seeing past the surface
to the deepest parts
♥ & soul
and loving me anyway

you are my forever friend
i am honored beyond words
to have you in my life

swirling

my heart is full
or
should i say filling more?

♥ love ♥ gratitude ♥ peace ♥ joy

over flowing

to experience this
all this
presently
i mean seriously present
not past
not future
here
now
is incredible.
like flowers are blooming all around
if i close my eyes
i can smell them
hyacinth
jasmine
gardinia
narcissus
♥
pure bliss
♥

what is your bliss today?

♥

♥
i want to grab a bottle of wine
head to the river
sit on the bank
talk about our desires
what makes us click
what turns us on
what it would take to live life on fire!
are you {on}?
♥
♥

lunar~tics

as of late
i have noticed this
lunar~tic energy all around
it has caused some
spiritual/emotional
growth spurts
or lessons

im very good at resisting

its uncomfortable

i have had to look in the mirror
and ask myself
why is this so hard
what is it that i am not embracing
how do i learn this lesson
and move forward

funny thing is...
i know the answer
its hard to admit emotional weaknesses
i have a huge defense mechanism that
pops up when i am afraid of rejection

however

when i can step away from a situation
and look at it
really focus on the situation
and not take it personal
and not allow my ego
to run the show
i am humbled
and strengthened
by the beauty of the lesson

i allowed a seed of doubt to sprout
in my soul and totally choke out
the peace that is flourishing
in my mind and soul

really?

what the hell is that about?

the lesson

to remember who you are

and that
not everyone
is going to get you
nor do they have to
agree with you
but
if you surround yourself
with kindred souls
people with a common
future, path or heart
you dont have to have them
"get you"
or
"agree with you"
because
they
respect you
for you
because
there
is
no
one
more
youer
than
you♥